Inside Amazon.com

Like the dinosaur, the massive rear-wheel-drive American full-size sedan once had a long run as the master of all it swurveyed–only to fade slowly into obscurity and disappear entirely, succumbing to competitors more suited to a changing environment.




But, also like the dinosaurs, the big sedans enjoyed a long, glorious run. For decades, the large rear-wheel-drive sedans were at the top of the heap; for many years, the Chevrolet Impala was the runaway sales leader, the most popular of the behemoths.




And why not? Impalas, like their slower-selling bretheren, were large, attractive, soft-riding sedans that offered palatial accommodations and cavernous cargo room at a reasonable price that many families could afford. In those hazy, nearly forgotten days before minivans and SUVs burst onto the scene, Impala wagons carried large quantities of people and cargo, serving as the trusty backdrop for countless family vacations. As a bonus, the Impala’s massive hood and trunk lid could double as a helicopter landing pad in case of emergency.

With the smooth burble of a sweet, low-compression V-8, long-limbed freeway cruising ability, and vaguely nautical ride and handling (bring the Dramamine!), the Impala and its optioned-up Caprice twin brought to the freeway all the comfort (and agility) of your living room. The Impala was a freeway cruiser nonpareil.




The 1976 model was the last of the truly leviathan full-size Impala/Caprice. The 1977 model year would bring the revolutionary downsized sedan, a great car in its own right that lived until 1990. I continually keep an eye out for a classic 1971-1976 Impala to pick up. I prefer the styling of the 1972 and 1976 editions, ideally unmodified with all of its original flavor intact. Unfortunately, these are getting harder to find in inexpensive, unmolested form. Thanks to the popularity of Impalas in the lowrider and hip-hop scenes, many of the original low-mileage grandmother-owned Impalas seem to have been snapped up and made into “donks.”




A couple of years ago, I found a beautiful original beige 1976 Impala for $1,100; but I quickly realized the true cost would involve divorce proceedings. I believe I’ve mentioned in this space before a ‘75 burgundy Caprice coupe that’s for sale near me. It’s possibly the largest two-door car ever made, and I’d bet each door has roughly the length and mass of a plate of battleship armor. It’s gorgeous, but at $6,000, I think I’ll pass.




What would I do with an Impala/Caprice? My wife asks me that, and I’m not sure I have a great answer. Since the Impala can easily take both small- and big-block Chevrolet V-8s, the temptation is there to drop in a mild big-block and make a pleasant old cruiser into a paradoxically fast pleasant old cruiser. I’d probably only do that when (if?) the original engine gave up the ghost.




Today, the Impala is a front-wheel-drive sedan, primarily powered by a V-6, and the Ford Crown Victoria is the closest thing one could call a survivor of the Age of Automotive Dinosaurs. Like the rogue dinosaur cloning efforts of Jurassic Park, Chrysler has brought large, powerful, rear-wheel-drive sedans back to life in the dangerous and unpredictable form of the Chrysler 300C Hemi, Dodge Charger, and Dodge Magnum Hemi, but they are too rapacious and aggressive to be part of the same genus as the old Impala.




The top three photos here are all from an excellent Impala page at How Stuff Works.com; the top image is a ‘76 coupe, the second is a ‘76 sedan, and the third is a ‘72 coupe.




The fourth photo is from StillRuns.com, which is a hilarious tribute to the glory and wonder of beaters. The ‘72 Impala pictured here has more than 300,000 miles on it, has been in no way restored, and boasts the fine, authentic patina of age and abuse. The Impala is as yet unbowed. If you are at all a fan of these cars–or beaters in general–StillRuns.com is worth a read.




–Chris H.